5 Reasons We Shouldn't Believe Anything That Comes Out of Anderson Cooper's Mouth

1) attended Yale University, as did known liar Bill Clinton

thinking fondly of lying

beady eyes

2) sexual identity is against laws of nature, God

3) the guy is a hurricane profiteer

ding ding ding! ($$$$$$$$$$)

4) he has an ageless face and is thus possibly a vampire or Al Quaeda sorcerer 

5) works for CNN, the "Callously Nontrue Network"!  NUFF SAID!