5 Best Books Ever

5) Ender's Game - a coming of age story in which a Paul Ryan-type prodigy overcomes his coddled liberal upbringing and becomes the biggest badass in fighting school and learns to kill all of the aliens that threaten his homeland

or just wait for the movie, movies are better than books

4) The Satanic Verses - read this book and pretend to understand the incindiary Islamic references so that you can brandish your copy and smirk at muslim passersby cuz they really hate this stuff!

nice drawing lol

3) Going Rogue: An American Life - this is a memoir by 2008 presidential hopeful hottie Sarah Palin and is about her life before and during the campaign.  I have read almost half of this book twice and also used it to kill a bug once.

I wrote this book myself! <wink wink>

2) The Bible - this is the #1 international bestseller of all time by a trillion copies and would be number 1 on this list but not for some of the hippie dippie new testament parts.  I have a customized version in which all of the nonviolent gospel parts and mushy crap has been struck through with a sharpie.  Revelations is awesome and is similar to "The Prophecy" staring Christopher Walken which is a great bible movie.

on second thought I'd just watch the movie of this too

1) Atlas Shrugged - this book is the best book ever made.  Paul Ryan would not have said that if it weren't true.  "Rational selfishness" and objectivism and stuff leads to getting rich and having sexy times with other objectivist rich people and that's just the way it should be.  It's long but it's worth it!  Just like Paul Ryan lol jk.

body of congress