4) Watching "New Girl"
Liberals love the antics of Zooey Deschanel as she lives in sin in an orgy den apartment with likeminded millenials. Lose the bangs and get a job, you strumpet.
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| use those giant eyes of yours to read some job postings |
3) Partying at special shutdown happy hours in DC
Democraps love fancy craft cocktails and imported beers, disdaining the lite beers enjoyed by regular Joes who work for a living.
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| why would I pay for bitters when Obama makes me bitter for free!? |
2) Reading Sylvia Plath, probably
Left wingers are always suffering from existential crises and ennui and what not. Maybe they should stop reading her books and start acting more like Plath*, amiright?
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| if it isn't by Jeff Foxworthy I'm not touching it |
*suicide. there, I said it.
1) Figuring out ways to expand Obamacare
They're probably figuring out how to break the budget even worse, causing more shut downs and messing up the private healthcare that we have worked so hard for.
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| see that ring? he's totally married to a dude |
